It has been said, "Porn addiction recovery and healing from Betrayal Trauma is NOT for wimps!" At times, the recovery and healing paths can be exhausting, discouraging, overwhelming and bring you to a place where you just feel "done"!
If you find yourself in this place of "burn out," HOW do you keep going? Where do you find the strength to stay on the healing and recovery path? Here are some insights from others who have been in a place similar to where you are now—
Although it seems counterintuitive or even a complete contradiction, you and your spouse can actually "embrace" and "honor" your pain and feelings. An important key is to learn HOW to do this without allowing the process to shove you off of the recovery and healing track.
One VERY hard part about porn addiction recovery and Betrayal Trauma healing is that the journey often does NOT match our expectations! It's crucial that you sit down and ask yourself(s) if your "view" of the recovery and healing processes is "realistic." Are you prepared to take on what is often "HARD"?
Too often our approach to recovery and healing can include a lot of "external" motivations and pressures. There are times when we must learn how to "be selfish in a healthy way." Learn how to capture or recapture "why" you are invested in healing and recovery--"What's in it for you?"
There are times when your ability to stay connected to your "why" and primary motivations becomes thin or non-existent. You need a way to stay in-tune with your vision; you need an "anthem" or "fight song"! Learn how to create this and have it accessible.
In porn addiction and even in betrayal trauma, we can get to the place where our free will feels compromised--like we're just operating on auto-pilot. You can learn HOW to exercise your agency in lots of little areas of life where your full ability to choose still exists.
Is recovery or healing a "destination" or an "event"? Once you get there you can stop using your tools and return to a "normal life"? Learn to view and engage in healing and recovery as a "way of life" and not a temporary measure.
Here's Mark and Steve's PBSE podcast episode on this topic—
Visit the PBSE website at: pbsepodcast.com