• mbkastleman

When Marriage Expectations Collide with Porn Addiction Recovery and Betrayal Trauma Healing.



How do we balance our expectations for the mending of our marriage relationship with the ups and downs of recovery from porn addiction and healing from Betrayal Trauma?


There are many times when recovery and healing can seem slow or unpredictable. If we're not careful, we can grow impatient and frustrated with the progress or lack thereof we're making in our marriage relationship.


The process of balancing recovery/healing and the marriage relationship begins with a mindfulness of where we are on our individual paths and a willingness to be open, transparent and vulnerable about this with our partner. This is stepping into our "authentic self." And, as a partner giving our honest and real feedback about what we see or don't see in the other's progress.


While we each need to have a very strong focus on our own individual recovery and healing work, we also need to express the "bottom lines" that we do require from the relationship--especially with "basic boundaries."


In recovery and healing, it is INEVITABLE that there will be challenging, frustrating and even painful times together. We can develop the willingness, vulnerability and skill of being able to sit in and process through reasonable pain vs. simply reacting to it.


We can also look to set up relationship boundaries with expectations and consequences and do this from an "all-inclusive perspective--"He, She and Us." And remember, boundaries should PROTECT you, not ENSLAVE you.


And finally, in seeking the balance between individual recovery and healing vs. mending your marriage—your TRUE INTENTION is everything! Are BOTH of you ALL IN and do you have each other's back no matter what?


In this PBSE podcast, Mark and Steve talk about these issues straight up—raw and real from their own life experiences and working with couples across the world—



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