I'm Not Sexually Attracted to My Spouse—Is Our Marriage Over?
Updated: Nov 18, 2020
Our Sexualized Culture Can Convince Us that "Sex" is Everything in a Marriage
We live in a society that often shouts the message that "sex is the be all, end all in a marriage relationship." If this part of the relationship is off, then the couple is doomed. Of course, this is FAR from the truth!
Too often we allow sexual passion and attraction to be a force that "ACTS UPON US" as opposed to focusing on LOVE which is a force that we can choose to "ACT WITHIN."
One question we would do well to ask ourselves is, "What exactly IS attraction? What is it based upon? Can it change and evolve in a marriage relationship?
Your "Arousal Template"
Based on MANY different factors—the environments and culture we were raised in; media influences; our peers; porn use; personality, etc., we each have a unique "arousal template" in our brain. This essentially determines what is sexually arousing and attractive to us.
This template is not good or bad—it simply is. BUT, this template is also NOT FIXED—it CAN change, evolve and mature with time, experience and our INTENTION and ATTENTION.
The BIG QUESTION in Your Marriage
The BIG question if we want to enjoy a truly healthy, happy, connected, fulfilling marriage relationship is—HOW can we begin to develop and enjoy a "holistic attraction and passion"—the kind that LASTS and DEEPENS with time?
Check out this PBSE Podcast episode where Mark and Steve talk about this topic in detail—
Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video
Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction
Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn
How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage