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  • mbkastleman

Avoiding Pain will actually make your Addiction Worse and Keep You Stuck in Betrayal Trauma!

Updated: Nov 18, 2020

It's normal for all of us to try to avoid pain when we can—that tendency is built into the very structure of the human brain. However, when that tendency becomes a habit and our first strategy in mentally and emotionally painful situations—then doing so can trigger and feed porn addiction and keep us trapped in Betrayal Trauma!

We live in a culture that constantly reminds us that "pain is BAD and to be avoided at all costs"! There's a pill, remedy, new formula, short-cut, etc., that can fix your pain NOW! And while this might seem to make sense, it actually often ROBS us of the opportunity to LEAN INTO our pain and LEARN from it.

Although it sounds a contradictory and counterintuitive, pain may actually be the solution you've been searching for!

I like to say, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears." This is definitely true with regard to pain and recovery from porn addiction as well as healing from Betrayal Trauma.

We can too easily become trapped in a "Pain-Avoidance-Cycle." This is where we bury or minimize difficult feelings, topics, situations, etc. and push them aside until they build up and EXPLODE! Then we're forced to deal with them personally and in our relationships. But, then after the storm blows over, we go right back into the same cycle!

Instead, we can learn to lean into your pain, learn from our pain and see it as the solution to our recovery and healing.

In a recent PBSE podcast, Mark and Steve talk in detail about HOW to turn pain into one of the most valuable allies in your porn addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing—

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—



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